You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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