Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize