How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So vagazzling was a success
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
