Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Randomize
