More tranny stories later!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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