i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
