i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Oh god it's open bar.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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