Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
two words: eviction party
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
