Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It's blow job season.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
