i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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