He uses pillows to masturbate.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
