Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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