I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
we should paint friendship bongs
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
