Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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