Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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