i would punch a child for taco bell
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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