Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
