She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
