i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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