If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
