so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
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