i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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