He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I don't think brook has ever known best
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
