Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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