I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
