I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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