No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize