Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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