My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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