): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
