the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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