Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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