Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
