how do flat chested girls get laid?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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