We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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