So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize