ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
