And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
