I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
