So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
