Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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