shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
