Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Randomize
