Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
