I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
