yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
