WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
