cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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