Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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