"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
