dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
