ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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