I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
