If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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