don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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