I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
