i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I need water and some morals
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
