i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
